Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Donut for a Day

Okay. You get to be Jim Hendry -- if just for one day (obscure rock and roll reference in there for those of you who care about such things. Name the song and win a prize. Not really.)

So. What do you do with this ragtag bunch we call the Cubs?

I still say to go get Peavy. Why? Because he's signed for four or five more years and that's what we need -- more than one long term frontline guy. No, they cannot have Vitters in the deal. Minor league arms and no more. Take it or leave it. Throw in Mike Fontenot.

What we need is a real second baseman. DeRosa? Maybe, but it won't happen because then Hendry just looks like a complete boob. How about Orlando Hudson? Oh, wait. Could've had him. Didn't want him. Can Adam Dunn play second base? (I can say that kind of thing here because you all know I'm kidding) How about Dan Uggla? If the Marlins continue to fade...he's a good hitter and as long as its not the All Star game, a pretty decent fielder.

Bullpen support? We need a lefty, but who doesn't? The fact that half these bozos even have jobs is amazing. I think we should get Johnny Southsider a tryout -- he'd be far more effective than Cotts and is a much better dancer.

Traffic was stopped in LA for three hours yesterday while a man in a coffee bean outfit wandered around the freeway.

I say go get a closer. Maybe Joe Nathan will be available if the Twinkies fade. Leave Marmol for set up duty for now.

Here's what I hope DOESN'T happen (which means it probably will) -- Milwaukee, due to the Rickie Weeks injury, trades for Mark DeRosa -- who just flat fucking tears it up for them against the Cubs the rest of the year. I hate even typing it because it just seems so fucking possible. Nevermind, okay. Forget you read that. You are getting sleepy. You won't remember anything...

Snap.

Where were we? Oh, yes...

But you get to be the donut. Let's hear what you have to say.

JS

4 comments:

Doc Raker said...

Package AAron Miles and minor league arms for Matt Holiday (sp?)

Trade Milkit for Rich Hill or package him with the above.

Keep Wells in the bigs, maybe in the bullpen. Jetsam Cotts, I would rather have a righty that get's people out than a lefty who can't. Kinda like that lefty righty hitting thing, I prefer a hitter who actually hits vs a shitbag, can I say shitbag here at Shermrants- oh yes how refreshing, that can't hit.

badmojo1b said...

I have it on good authority that Glendon Rusch just cleared waivers from the Rockies...a better lefty than Cotts.

69 fan said...

Um.. DUMBASS... Adam Dunn does not play second base.

Swallow the crow and trade back for DeRosa. NOW goddammit.

And WTF are you, docraker, thinking about Matt Holliday? can he pitch, can he play second base, I think not. How many Fucking outfielders do we need.

And God Bless you.

DAVE.

Doc Raker said...

I bet Holiday could play first base, we could then trade Milkit or Dlee or both with the rise of Hoffa and Scales.

I know, small sample size on Scales, spare me the Dave saberfacts of doucheness.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shithead pussy cunt. Just because I can.