Shike

I feel bad. I'm only blogging sporadically. Doc is in Vegas. Mojo is back from Ahoe.

So, before I leave for the weekend -- here's a book recommendation. Good luck finding it, but if you do -- it is worth the hunt.

Shike. By Robert Shea. Actually two books. Shike: Time of the Dragons, and Shike: Last of the Zinja. Don't let the titles fool you. It's in my top ten. Probably even top two. Maybe top.

Historical fiction set in Japan in 1200's. Out-freaking-standing book. Trust me on this, and you'll trust me always. Make sure you read them in order. Time of the Dragons is first. Don't bother looking for hardcover -- you won't find them under $100 each in good condition. Go to used paperback stores, or try abebooks.com or amazon.com. You will find decent paperbacks. And you will love these. I promise. I'd do more of a review but I don't have time. You are lucky to get this. I will write more about it next week. If I still want to.

Go Cubs. Kublai Khan was a Cub fan. I'm pretty sure.

Read it.

That's what I'm talking about

Good game yesterday. Zambrano wasn't perfect, but the team came back to win anyway. The pitchers need to know that they can give up a few runs from time to time and still win ball games. They need to know that an early mistake (3 run dinger in the 2nd) isn't the ballgame.

Pie is playing well and hitting, too. Averaging around .350 now in ST. Maybe it was a maturity issue. Maybe it was the twisted nut. Whatever, nice to see him getting on base.

I have been dogging it on the literary front. Sorry to those of you...er...the one of you who reads. I know I need to get that going, but have been busy. Really. I do get busy. Really.

More later. Or not.

Sherm

Yes. I've been absent a few days.

I've been conspicuously absent. Like a base on balls in an Alfonso Soriano box score. Like a first pitch strike from Rich Hill this spring. Like a three run homer from DLee. Like an injury free season from Kerry Wood. Enough of that.

Reed Johnson. Good pick up. Didn't cost us anything but money. I like it. He's a tough, gritty guy and we need that kind of heart -- him and Theriot will be good spark plugs this year. Glad it's not Marlon Byrd. Feel bad for Murton, though, but that's baseball. Trade him now, but get something in return, dammit.

I'm back for now. So comment if you want. Or go skiing in Ahoe. I don't care.

2008 Cubs

Time for predictions. Mine? 93 wins. Don't ask me how. The number just came to me.

We will win the first round of the playoffs against the wild card Padres. We will beat the Mets in six games to go to the WS. Thankfully, the Mets will have beaten the DBacks...who we cannot. The World Series? I will make that prediction later.

NCAA? Watch out for the Running Rebels.

I reiterate yesterday's thought. Put Rich Hill in the bullpen until he proves he can pitch. He's so far up his own ass, and so in love with that curve that he can't get over the plate...let the righties pitch. They have all been better than him this spring.

Thoughts: what to do with Murton? No one wants him? Or are we being selective about trading him? I think he's going to be pretty good one day for someone else. You can't keep Patterson, Cedeno and Fontenot on the big club -- who do you keep? Fontenot is the least versatile.

Is it just me or is Pie running funny?

js

Sorry

Sorry that I am so late this morning. I had some work to finish before I got to the old blogola. Got blasted for missing a day. Feel awful about that. Knowing the effort that it takes to check and see what has been posted each day, you all deserve better. Yesterday was a full travel day and I just didn't wanna. Again, sorry. It will happen again. Breathing exercises may help.

I am tired of spring training. Let's get this season started. Send a message to Rich Hill. Nothing is written in stone. You (Hill) start the season in the pen and Marquis, Dempster and Leiber have rotation spots with Z and Lilly. Those five are pitching best. Hill is pitching like he's read that he already has a spot and doesn't need to worry. Oh wait, that is exactly what happened.

Kerry Wood sidelined with back spasms? Who ever would have thought something like that might happen? Shocking. He's typically so durable. But hey, he made it all the way to March 19th injury free. That's good, right?

The B team played a great game last night against SF. In the first game, DLee hit his first spring homer and rocketed his average up into the .190s. Sit him down and start Hoffpauir. I am tired of these veterans mailing it in.

Start the flippin season already. How much warm up do these guys need?

Sherm

Silly String

The silly string of comment characters is gone! I've just taken another four seconds off the whole process! Let the bombardment begin! Now even eye doctors can play!

Hats of to Smitty. Much as that hurts.

You know that I hate to give credit to anyone, even when credit is due -- but I have to give props to Smitty. He told us that Pods was ready to play. He suggested the Cubs should go get this guy on the cheap. The Rockies did, and read this:

"However, according to the Denver Post, O'Dowd's reaction was decidedly less definitive regarding the possibility of dealing reserve outfielder Cory Sullivan. Why? It's likely due to the torrid spring of Scott Podsednik, who on Saturday made a "full tilt, horizontal to the ground, fully extended" diving catch (this according to manager Clint Hurdle) to rob Rangers' DH Jason Botts of an hit.
This spring Podsednik leads the Rockies in steals, swiping six in seven attempts. He's also getting on base at a .529 clip. Can Pods make a return to his 2005 form and make the Rockies? One would think he'd at least help fill the speed void left by the departure of Kaz Matsui. "

Meanwhile, we consider Coco Crisp or Marlon Byrd? Yikes. And Pods would have cost money, but no players. Way to go, Smitty. Even a blind squirrel stumbles into an acorn every now and again.

I am still on the road...so more later, although I am overwhelmed at the huge response (one) to the last post. Check that. I'm merely whelmed.

JS

Blogging versus Emailing

Okay, so here we go with that age old question. Well, okay, it isn't exactly age old. It isn't even really old, but that's getting off point. I don't think we need to debate what is old and what is not. I mean, in San Clemente, some jerkoffs are fighting to save a dilapidated building because they think it is "historic" because it is "old." It's like 75 years old. In Europe, I've been in castles that are over 900 years old. They'd scoff at 75 years. Who wouldn't? I do. I scoff all the time. I am a scoffer.

Anyway. Where was I? Blogging versus emailing. Right. Just yesterday I received a request to email rather than blog. This was under the assumption that no one has time to read a blog. Couple months ago, the directive was something like "enough with all the fucking emails! Who has time for all these emails?" So, if I understand this right, I am being asked to write an email, in lieu of a blog, so long as it is not too many emails, correct? This to save valuable time doing all that annoying clicking? Is it the clicking? I realize that responding to the blog takes a little longer than responding to an email. The process, provided one actually types a few comments, could take up to what, 45 seconds longer? If you did that four or five times a week? Fuck, you'd lose almost three and half minutes. Add to that the return visit to the blog to see if someone has commented on your comment, and it literally could become a drain of seven to eight minutes a week. Easy. Ten if you happen to be verbose. Or a Doctor.

So, let's look at ten minutes a week. That could be sex with your wife. Twice. Or yourself, four times. One game of Internet Spades. I bet you spend more than that amount of time staring at the refrigerator before making your choice. (note: the selection doesn't change the longer you look.) Or staring at your shirts deciding which one to wear. Just pick one. They all make you look like you have tits. Buy bigger shirts. But shopping takes a lot more time, so don't get me started.

Sherm's time saving hints:

1. Tape American Idol and just watch the songs later. You don't need to hear all the stupid banter. And the "results shows?" Tape them and just watch the end.

2. Don't watch Law & Order at all. They are all the same. Unless they come out with Law & Order: Criminal Intent in an SUV -- some pedophile runs down Sam Waterson (killing him) in his Escalade. At the same moment, Benson and Stabler are having sex and they find out that they are brother and sister. Yes, Stabler's father was the man who raped Benson's mother. They finish and then kill themselves. Meanwhile, Goren and Eames are also having sex, and Vincent D'Onofrio has a heart attack from getting so fat and he dies and she suffocates under him and no one realizes it for a week. Jerry Orbach returns from the dead to partner up with Richard Belzer, who returns from the show business dead, to solve these mysteries. Thankfully, we get to hear Steven Zirnkilton's monotone opening for the last time. "These are their stories." Doink Doink. Enough already.

3. Don't watch highlights, or read recaps from games you've already watched. What are you, retarded? You've seen it already. You know what happens. It's over. Let it go.

4. Don't watch movie credits to "see who that guy was" -- it doesn't matter. You are going to forget his name again anyway.

5. Eliminate the cuddling after sex. You're done. Get up. Go do something. What do you hope to accomplish just lying there? You got what you wanted. Go.

6. Weekends can be a great source of saved time. Don't bother shaving on weekends. For that matter, on weekends you can skip most of the regular weekday hygiene issues, including tooth brushing. It's not like you will see important people on the weekends. And, a tip -- Orange juice can be a great gargling tool. (Tomato juice is not.)

7. Don't clip your nails. That takes time. Bite them off while driving. Multi-tasking is a time saving skill.

8. In the shower -- don't "repeat." One pass with the shampoo is plenty. You don't have that much hair. On your head. And forget conditioner all together, unless you use a "shampoo and conditioner" combo, which is fine, but still, no repeating. You can still do that "other thing" in the shower if no one is watching, because, hey, it's soap, and who can say no to soap?

9. Exercise. However much exercise you do, cut off a minute a day. It won't make any difference and you have up to seven extra minutes a week. If you don't exercise, the best bet would be for you to stop wasting time thinking that you might start. You won't.


So. Blogging versus emailing. I think there is time to read and respond to blogs. There is also room for emailing shorter thoughts when the blog is harder to access. So, it's a tie. Take it into overtime if you want -- with your comments -- and if we can settle this important debate, let's do it!

Sherm

On the ball

I am tired of all the testicle jokes. I really am sacked out on the whole subject. It's nuts, I tell you. Let's put the subject in the bag and leave it there, okay? I mean, there is a vas deferens between being funny and going to far. Words can be a weapon. Remember, the penis mightier than the sword.

By the way, why do they call it an "orchidectomy" when a gonad is removed? Instead of a jewel heist? Does that imply that the "bulb" itself is really a flower? What do they call it when an orchid is removed? A "clackerectomy"?

Soriano

I just read that Lou is dropping Soriano into the two spot in the order in an attempt to keep him healthy. His legs are 85 percent. When asked about moving runners over, Soriano said "no bunts, no." I'd expect this to be a short lived experiment. Personally, with all the whiffs and the power? I'd bat him sixth, whether he likes it there or not. I still like Theriot in the two spot. He will move runners along with ego, and he'll continue to become a better hitter as time goes on. He's young. Soriano is not young or "elastic" in his approach. Raker nailed it last year by suggesting that DLee take the two spot. He can be patient, go the other way, run and hit for (occasional) power. So, pull the trigger on Roberts and go:

Roberts (2b)
DLee (1b)
Fuku (rf)
Ramirez (3b)
Soto (c)
Soriano (lf)
Theriot (ss)
Pie (cf)
Pitcher

Those of you clamoring for the book blog -- it will most likely start up toward the end of next week when I return from a roadie.

In the "just for mojo" department:

My favorite literary assassins:

John the Ghost (Gone for Good by Harlan Coben)
The Blue Angel (Dead Silent by Robert Ferrigno)
Nicolas Hel (Shibumi by Trevanian)
Gabriel Allon (Most Daniel Silva books)
John Rain (Barry Eisler)

I gotta pack. More later. Or not.

Books

The voters have spoken and therefore I will begin to post the Sherm Book Review Blog. I will not charge you for this. I could. I should. I will not. I am that kind of person.

Just for fun, tell me what you are reading now (no, not the blog. I mean what "book" you currently have on your bed stand, or wherever you keep what you are reading "now".) I am reading "Father and Son" by Peter Maas, and so far, it is pretty decent. I am also starting "The Screwtape Letters" by CS Lewis, both for fun, and a little bit of research for the book I am writing. More on that later. On deck? "Sins of the Assassin" by Robert Ferrigno. No relation to Lou. Not even pronounced the same way. It's a sequel to "Prayers for the Assassin" which is unbelievably good. And plausibly scary. I recommend it. I will review it later when I get to authors whose last name starts with the letter F.

If you have some all time favorite books, tell me that, too. Give me a feel for what you like to read.

Baseball news: Zambrano looks good. Taking care of business this year with his trap shut. Good. Hill looks like the weak link in the rotation thus far. If so, put him in long relief and ride Leiber and Dempster as long and hard as you can. That's figurative, Smitty. Quit the giggling.

Nothing on Pie today. I'm out of nut comedy for the time being.

Yankees signed Billy Crystal, so there's still hope for Mark. Apparently there is a market for aging comics with limited playing ability. Work on the arm, though, Mark. Got to put some zip in those throws. I remember when Mark and Juan Pierre had a throwing contest and they both tied for third. They couldn't play catch in a hallway. I can write all this because Mark obviously doesn't read this blog. So it's our secret. I wonder who will sign Bob Saget?

Time for work. Or not.

Under Construction

Not really, but I noticed that a lot of sites say that.

I'm just really all knotted up about this Pie thing. I can hear the announcers now "two balls on the batter, and one is really twisted, Len" or "do you think they'll try the squeeze with Pie, Bob? It didn't work when he tried it himself in spring training." New definition of a "curve ball?" "screw ball?"

The book blog vote is really close. I'll go with the popular vote. Heck with the delegates.

mini rant

If I was a day, I'd be pissed if I was the 30th or 31st, because every so often you have to share your calendar spot with the 23rd and 24th. And that's just wrong. What, we can't figure out how to make calendars so that those days fit regardless of the month? Come on.

Monday, March 10

Thank goodness for Monday. Oh, wait, that' s not the expression, is it?

Cubbies looked much better this weekend. It'll be good to get DeRosa going again. Can Soriano run all out, or is that quad injury now in his head? Better question. Is there anything in his head, period?

Pie looks pretty good...wouldn't that be nice? 4BB and 5K so far this spring. Good ratio. Like to see that all season. I'd be okay with 100K's if he could also walk 80 times.

I am starting to think that Dempster might be okay as a starter.

This whole optimism thing is pissing me off. I blame Doc. No, not the dwarf. The Bash Bro.

So, how are we all going to coordinate going to a game this year? We should put Smitty in charge of that, since he's a quality organizer. And a little dopey. No, not the dwarf.

Daylight savings is weird. We shouldn't lose an hour. We should just have 25 hour days half the year and 23 hours days the rest. Not sure why. Is that even possible? Does anybody know what time it is? Does anybody really care?

Must rant. Want to feel Grumpy. No, not the dwarf.

More later. Maybe. Or not.

Sherm


ps: not getting the "volume" of votes I'd hoped for on the book blog thing. Don't know why I'd expect more than three though, since I am pretty sure that only three of you ever read this. Time is running out. When the vote is over, I become the super delegate (whateverthefuckthatis) and decide which books to review. Or not.

Whatever

I had no intention whatsoever of blogging today, but after yesterday's post and the tremendous amount of discussion and lengthy commentary -- how could I not?

Let's talk about yesterday's game. Sound familiar? Good start. No hitting. Bullpen blew it late. Wow. Deja' Vu. Sounds like thousands of games over the last few years. I know. I know. It's only spring training, but note to Lou -- teach your team to win these games and that might just spill over into the season. Drives me crazy to hear players say stuff like "I didn't care about getting people out. I just wanted to hit my spots and throw strikes." Know what? If you hit your spots and throw strikes? More often than not? You'll get people out, idiot.

It's only spring training. It's only spring training. Maybe if I keep saying it over and over, I'll feel better. It's a very lackluster beginning, spring training or not, to what is supposed to be a special season. I have reserved seats at Mojo's for the playoffs, dammit! Between the 300 pound dog and the high chair, probably, but nonetheless...

Speaking of DB -- Fontenot is mini-you? Would that have been second half Fontenot who was 0 for everything after National Ice Cream Sandwich Day? (August 2. Look it up if you don't believe me)

Note: after the whole "twisted teste" incident, perhaps Pie should change the pronunciation of his name to "Pee-ow"

So far -- surprise, surprise -- there is only one vote on the whole book blog thing. I could just email my book list to Dave and bypass the litany of other readers. Can <1 still be a litany?

I was going to do a special blog with a book review a day for about the next 200 or 300 days. Something you could forward to all your literate friends. Ha. That assumes that any of you have literate friends. Ha. That assumes any of you have friends. Ha. That assumes that anyone is actually reading this. You know what they say about "assuming". It makes an "as" out of "Su Ming". She's some Chinese chick, I think. Not sure what an "as" is. But I am fairly certain it's a famous saying.

Whatever. It's Friday. I have work to do. Go Cubs.

JS

Spring Training

Zambrano probably needs to hit higher in the order than nine. Pitched well yesterday and goes yard.

Mets need an outfielder and Murton could be that guy. But do we trade Murton just for Murton? To let him "get on" with his career? I don't think so, unless we get something worthwhile in return. I'm okay with him as our extra right handed OF, and PH. I wouldn't give him away. Granted, that 4th OF should have some speed, but hey, we have Daryl "when's dinner?" Ward.

We seem to be showcasing Fontenot. He played SS couple of days ago, and that's NOT his best position. Maybe it's important to show that he's a slightly below average glove at multiple positions. I still like his bat. He's kind of Todd Walker all over again, but younger. There's a shortage of decent shortstops right now, so that's probably why. It's also why I hold out a little on Cedeno. He has an upside, and it's a seller's market.

Back to the fourth outfielder thing. MLBTR had an interesting article on Reggie Willits from the Angels. He'd be a perfect platoon with Pie, plus he's a true leadoff hitter. Lots of options with him and he's young. Angels also used him at 2B if I remember, so he's versatile. I don't know what we have that the Halos need, though. Bullpen help, maybe?

Closer situation. If it's my decision? Marmol closes. Howry and Wood are Mr. 7th and 8th innings, in whatever order. If all three of these guys have good years? We'll be very good. If they have great years? We could win it all. If the bullpen trifecta is effective, we only need starters to go five or six innings -- which changes things a little. It makes some of our pitchers a little less "long in the tooth" (Lieber, Dempster) when they only need to get into the sixth to get the win. I am predicting a good year for Dempster. Don't know why. Might have something to do with the magic 8 ball, ouija board, and my lucky astrological mood watch. Or not.

Wow. That was fun. And we didn't discuss books at all. God forbid. It's your loss.