I've spent time, now, trying not to think about the Cubs' newest acquisition. It didn't work. Is he the right guy? Is he the player to be named later? I've decided against Milton Bradley for obvious reasons. The name, I mean. I'll give the player a chance to prove himself. What other choice do I have? I'll not type his "real" name again.
So. What to call him? We've exhausted the usual monikers. Marvin Hasbro has been my favorite so far. Boardgame is old. Let's look at a few new ones and decide what he shall be named.
1. "Trainer Me" Elmo
2. Hangman Lego
3. Skat Canasta
4. Trivial Injury Pursuit
5. Hungry Hungry Hendry (I know it doesn't apply to this guy, but I think it's funny)
6. Billy Cribbage
7. Uno Parcheesi
8. Rook Twister
9. Sorry Life
10. Boggle Junior
11. Leroy Yahtzee
12. Noh Clue
Pick one. I don't care.
Personally, I think we just should have taught Mark DeRosa to bat left handed. He was a good guy. He'd have done it. He did everything else the team asked.
The Marquis deal is just about done. We lose an eleven game winner who ate innings like Sabathia eats housepets. Replacement arm? Marshall. Could be. I'm okay with that as long as he pitches well and wins games. If he doesn't, than I'm against it. How's that? Hurts my crack sitting on this fence.
I'd still like to see Jake Peavy on the team. He'd be a long term Cub -- and give us a great rotation for some time.
I'd still like to see Adam Dunn in right field. I've said it before. Damn the defense. Pitch around it. Put Skat Canasta in CF and Dunn in RF. Trade Pie and Fukudome to ACE Hardware for some spackle.
I want a great pitching staff AND a team that can outscore opponents with regularity. Why can't we have both for a change? I want to see shutouts while we pound people into submission. Is that too much to ask? I want the rest of the national league going to the commissioner's office with a petition for the mercy rule. Is that wrong? I want to see outfielders pitching against in the seventh, eighth and ninth inning -- every week. I want broom sales to skyrocket in every city in which we play...
Sing with me, people!
I don't know what that meant, it just typed itself. Sometimes, I'm just channeling, folks.
Oh, I thought of another name. Hannah Barbera. Thoughts?
I'll need to see him play defense before I know if he's a JCM or not.
Is it true that Hendry said after the signing "He'll be a perfect DH for us. Oh, wait, we're a national league team. Doh!" And then he choked Bart.
More later. Or not.
One question. Smitty has a blog?
Sherm
BUT WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE!!! THIS JUST IN!!!
As part of the deal for Billy Cribbage, the Cubs ALSO get the rights for several of the Monopoly pieces, including the hat and the shoe! They are negotiating for the iron as we speak. The guy with the monocle (aka Ralph) is also part of the deal, and will act as Boggle Junior's clubhouse valet. Big news, folks, big news!!!
5 comments:
Outstanding! I vote 'Hasbro', one word only, like Cher, Madonna and Elvis (ya I know Elvis had a last name but you don't need to use it). I think it makes the statement of who he is, an angry game board. Leroy Yahtzee is good but maybe Leroy Lego is better, I always liked aliteration.
I heard Mark DeRosa on XM 175 Home Plate yesterday and he said I quote,"I would have learned to hit lefty if Hendry or Lou would have just asked me to".
I am with BadMojo and others on this one. He had his best year as a DH and is much to injury prone, 3 years of this guy- please. I will take 'before May 31' for the Big Z Hasbro fistacuffs, and I got $100 on big Z kicking Hasbros fanny.
Hasbro makes sense on several levels as Hasbro acquired the Milton Bradley company about 30 years ago (thank you google). But as I spent some time researching the other MB products, A few more games should be considered:
SORRY- hopefully not
OPERATION- he's had a few
YAHTZEE- not sure what it means, but sounds neato
TRIVIAL PURSUIT- a game in which I can kick ass
THE GAME OF LIFE- not much of a moniker
and the more interesting...
WHACK A MOLE- I had no idea there was a board game version, but a great baseball connotation.
TABOO- just exotic enough to work
RACKO - probably my favorite if Felix Pie had not earned that title last year.....
which brings on my favorite, which jumped off of the list....
A BARREL OF MONKEYS- a bit long, I grant you and politically incorrect, but I usually am. If he were an NBA star, we could use this to refer to his progeny.
So I guess I will have to vote for HASBRO as well. But will hope that it will be more like "you ain't seen nothing yet-BRO".
I still want to believe that Peavy is in our future, otherwise most of the recent moves don't make sense.
I am calling it official...this offseason is a bust if Hendry doesn't have something up his sleeve (other than jelly stains) to get Peavy. Peavy makes this all better. A guy with the longest injury sheet I've seen, who attacked fans, opposing players, and an umpire...does not. Why not re-sign Barrett while we're at it.
and read this...
http://www.desipio.com/?p=1839
'attacks fans, opposing players and umpires' outstanding!
Barrel of Monkeys for his progeny!
Rack it!
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