The Blog. Wednesday August 6.

So much to say. Letting it all hang out on this blog since rumor has it that Doc Raker might be making a reading appearance. Gee, golly, maybe he'll comment, too.

First things first. Mojo is going to Chicago tomorrow for a weekend of golf, baseball and beer. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Well, that all depends on how he handles it. Because even though his wife set the trip up for him and "encouraged" him to go, we all know she's going to be pissed that he went. So, as a true friend and fellow Cubnation dweller, I want to offer the following incredibly wise advice.

1. Call her when it is most inconvenient for you. Maybe from Wrigley when the Cubs are batting. I am not joking. This is important. Don't call when it's easy. Call when it's not. Tell her that the game is nice and all, but that you couldn't stop thinking about her and the girls and wanted to hear her voice. Here comes the most important part -- so pay attention. When she says "I'll let you get back to your game" -- IT'S A TEST. DO NOT FALL FOR IT! You say "It's okay, I'd rather hear about your day" or some such thing. Trust me. You'll thank me later.

2. Only order food that she would hate while you are gone. If she asks you what you had and you say something that she would LOVE while she's home up to her elbows in baby poop and eating cheese sandwiches -- well, you get the picture...tell her you had the "insert something she hates" and that you didn't like it too much. It was (tough, undercooked, slimy, gross, prepared wrong -- pick one.)


And now back to our regularly scheduled blog.

Lost in today's spanking of the Asstro's was the absolutely shitty inning that Marquis had prior to the Cub outburst. It's so important to hold the other team after we have scored, but we seem to have trouble with that. Doc Garden Weasel wants to rail about Bobby Howry? What about Marquis? Three straight 92 mph fastballs to Carlos Lee? What was he thinking? What was Soto thinking? What was Rothschild thinking? SOMEONE has to be thinking. That's horrible. First he pitches around the fearsome Hunter Pence with two outs to get to Lance Berkman. Boom. Tie game. And then with an 0 - 2 count throws a third consecutive fastball to Lee? What? We've been grooving Lee all series. He's the only guy in that lineup you can honestly pitch around. Geoff Blum hits behind him. Remarkably lucky that we exploded and won today. Thank goodness that Backe was awful.

Bobby Howry. The guy goes through this from time to time. He's a hard thrower who depends on movement. Without the movement, well, he's hittable. He needs to pitch to get his stuff back, but I agree with Doc Lawnmower that he should not be pitching with the game on the line until he gets back whatever it is he's lost. Note to pitching coach -- it's your job to help him. Put down the slice and go work with him.

Fukudome had a couple of hits today. Big deal. I'm still not impressed. He's pressing like a same day dry cleaner, and it shows. Check this out. He won't take a pitch with two strikes. He's so worried about getting called out, that he is swinging at every pitch with two strikes. THAT'S the problem. Note to batting coach -- it's your job to help him. Put down the frosty malt and go work with him.

I watched the Blue Jays and Athletics tonight, because in Montreal the television choices suck. I'm watching the Yankees - Rangers now in French. That's how bad it is. Anyway, where do they find announcers willing to do Toronto games? These guys suck. Runners on second and third, no outs, late in the game and the guy says "they should bring in the runners in this situation." Umm, dumbass? The runners need to stay near the baseline.

Note to all baseball players. What's up with the Chinzilians?

Note to Mojo: Are you taking a sign to carry to Wrigley? Something to get you on TV? Maybe an "I "heart" Jim Edmonds" sign? Or maybe "Poo-holes can't spell"

Whatever. That's enough for one night. I have the last trois innings to watch.

Sherm