Muskrat Blog

Just for fun, I decided to check out the Muskrat Blog. I had a spare minute, so why not, right?

She had not had a single comment in the last ten blog entries. If you blog and no one comments, does it make a sound? Just wondering. I didn't actually read them -- THAT would be impossible, but looked for comments. Found one, eleven entries back, but it was retarded.

So. I was thinking. Maybe we should all start commenting on her blog. Like crazy. Ask her oddball questions and stuff and see if she starts to respond. Stupid stuff like "Will Jeff Samardzija ever get to play outfield in a game?" Thoughts?

js

Oh, Dear God

Milton almost made it through one spring training game before getting injured.

What are the odds, other than pretty good?

js

New Opportunity?

I may have an opportunity to take this blog "larger" by contributing to another Cub blog. I am considering it. I could have put in a silly little vote box, but considered that "too Smitty."

Pros and Cons.

Pro -- more readers. Expands our world and hopefully means more commentary

Con -- less "personal wisecracking" like "too Smitty" because the bigger world has no idea who Smitty is.

Pro -- I'll be 1.14% more famous than I am now

Con -- Still not famous enough for my own "posse."

Pro -- I'll never have to work again

Con -- oh, yes, you will

Pro -- No, I won't

Con -- Yes, you will

Pro -- I'll be taken seriously as the dedicated and professional journalist that I really am; and undoubtedly get offered free tickets to all kinds of sporting events.

Con -- No, you won't.

Anyway, feel free to weigh in and let me know your thoughts.

Sherm
Reporting, as always, from the San Clemente press box

The World Baseball Classic

I hate it. There. I said it. I hate the World Baseball Classic. First of all...who the hell are they to declare their own event a classic? I find that arrogant and irritating.

I won't watch a minute of it -- for one, because I don't care and secondly, when I want to root for the US, I watch the Opympics. Or the Little League World Series. The World Baseball Classic is a useless, poorly timed series of baseball games. They interfere with spring training, and so help me...if Geo Soto gets injured doing it...someone is going to pay.

Carlos Marmol made the right decision. Not to go.

While I'm at it, the Cubs need a new beat writer. Muskat is awful. I know that I'm not the first blogger to mention it -- HJE does a fine job lampooning her -- but as tolerant as I am...and you all know how tolerant I am...I can't take it any longer. She should go cover the world baseball classic.

Maybe I will change the name of my blog to Sherm's Classic Blog. Or should it be Sherm's Blog Classic?

I just want games to start so that I can see Sam Fuld again, okay?

I am so sick of the offseason...

more later. Or not.

Sherm. Classic.

Introducing the 2009 Cubs

People who know that I am a Cub fan keep asking me..."So, how are your Cubbies going to be this year?"

The problem is that I don't know how to answer that question. Are we a better team than in 2008? I honestly don't know. It's hard to believe that we are better when you look at the additions and subtractions.

Dempster. We had him anyway. He might be as good as he was. He won't be better.

Gone are Wood and DeRosa.

Added are Bradley and So Taguchi.

Gone are Cedeno and Blanco.

Added are Gaithright and Bako.

We have Harden all year, but is he healthy?

Gone are Edmonds and Ward.

Miles is new.

No backup third baseman this year -- and ARam's history is that he can't play 150+ games.

Marmol and Samardzija should both be better this year...

Centerfield scares me. Johnson and Fukudome? Not exactly a great platoon.

So. How are the Cubbies going to be this year? As good as last year? Division winner?

I think that as this team stands...right this second -- they'll compete for the division and possibly win it -- but without some additions we won't go into playoff round 2. Again.

Player by position recap:

Soriano - LF -- bad defensive outfield. Will he be healthy? Can he run? How many K's?

Centerfield platoon -- Reedodome -- Johnson is an average outfielder, at best, who also at best, is fair. At his best, he's fair. Period. Fukudome? Until he shows different, he stinks. Sorry.

Bradley -- RF. No idea if this guy can play even 100 games. I hope so, but we will see. Who plays right if he can't? Hoffpauir? Bailodome? DeRosa. Oops. Sorry. Forgot that he's an Indian. At least we have three pitchers that will never see the inside of Wrigley.

Ramirez - 3b. He'll probably have a good year. Hope to God he doesn't get hurt.

Theriot. ss -- Can he steal more bases than he gets caught? Doubt it.

Fontemiles - 2b. Eh. I'd rather have Orlando Hudson for the contract he signed.

Lee 1b -- kind of an old 1b...doesn't have the power he used to.

Soto C -- No problem. Good catcher. Good hitter. Going to be depressed without Blanco.

Pitching. -- Decent staff. Some good starters. Good bullpen. No complaints at this time.

Bench. Eh. Gaithright, Miles, Hoffpauir. Whatever.

Are we better than last year? I don't know. I can't say yes, yet.

I think we are a piece or two away from a championship team...let's hope that the new ownership realizes that and makes some mid season moves.

When does the season start? This is one dull offseason.

js
Fontenot/Miles 2b -- eh.

Oh, no he didn't

Really say it --

"When you're that good of a cake," Boras says, "it takes little frosting." about Manny Ramirez? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Plus he said that Manny is the face of the franchise. What the fuck? The guy was a Dodger for a couple of months. He's the face of an asshole.

If I were the Dodger's, I wouldn't sign him just because of those comments. Face of the franchise? Come on. That's like saying that Garrett Olson was the face of the Cubs. They could spend that $25mil more wisely...

Face of the franchise? You gotta be kidding me. Boras needs to have his ass kicked.

Well, spring training is officially on. That's the good news. Still nothing to talk about. That's the bad news.

More later. After Boras declares Manny "like religion, only better."

JS

Blog Day at the Ballpark

But which ballpark?

How about we go someplace equally inconvenient for everyone? Here are some suggestions:

Atlanta -- that's inconvenient and relatively boring, too.

Houston -- You gotta love Enron Park.

Washington -- See Adam Dunn in person!

New Shea? -- Are they calling it New Shea?

I would consider Phoenix, too.

Actually, Denver is the most central, even if it is Barbra Streisand Stadium. Plus we could golf there. I can hit the ball about 400 yards in Denver.

Who's on the interleague schedule this year? Anybody worth seeing?

Note to loyal readers. Smitty mentioned that the Cubs are considering a move from Mesa to Tucson. In 2012. It's not that he "scooped" me, it's that I was waiting until, oh, I don't know, 2011 to worry about it.

Sherm

Reunion

Not Reunited, so back down on Peaches and Herb.

First of all, I think it's a brilliant idea to have Shermrants Day at the ballpark. Not to be overly nitpicky of Southsider's great idea, but...it can't be a First Annual Event. The first one is the inaugural event. Subsequent events can be second annual, third annual, and so on.

Second, I am compelled to answer the comment re: a SmittyBlog Day. And the answer is:

Smitty has a blog?

More later.

And yeah, I am overly picky. I know.

JS

Great big pile of nothing

I've got nothing. I've spent the last three days going from Twins to Brewers to Cubs and back to Brewers. (You can figure out the cities from the clues, Smitty.)

Plus, I've been sick, which always makes traveling in the miserable fucking cold that much more fun.

Nothing baseball related to report. Bud Selig might suspend A-Rod. Good luck with that. He might reinstate Hank Aaron as home run king. Good luck with that, too. While he's at it, why not reinstate Ty Cobb as hits leader? Better negate all of Roger Clemen's wins, too. Oops. That means the Yankees didn't win those games. That changes the standings. That means we have to play the last fifteen years all over again. Nothing counts. Time for computer generated baseball!

Well, it's 2am in OshKosh B'fuckme or wherever the hell I am tonight. More when something newsworthy, or funny, happens.

js

In a fog

Still in a fog -- partly from the big party this weekend and partly from being in Central Wisconsin and literally in the fog. No, Wisconsin is not the second honeymoon. That will take place later this year someplace slightly more exotic than Eau Claire.

Thanks for all the nice wishes on thirty...especially the ones for Mrs. Sherm. I don't know why she agreed to marry me the first time. Second time? Obviously she needs to be analyzed.

Anyway...so what's in the news? Bobby Abreu is an Angel. Big deal. Although for one year, 5mil...he might have been a nice addition to the Cub outfield. Too bad we are saddled with the Fukudome contract...

A-Rod. If I'm him, I'm pissed. I'm suing everyone in sight. Good for him for admitting it and apologizing and all that happy horseshit, but those tests were sealed and anonymous and he had an expectation that they'd stay that way. Plus...it may not have been legal then, but it wasn't ILLEGAL.

Agree with you guys -- Fehr and Selig must take the blame. Fehr for letting it happen. Oh, yes, he did. And Selig for padding his owner buddies pockets and looking the other way.

Why can't they just put an end to it? Here's the deal. Everyone gets tested. Regulary. Results are public. End of problem.

Regarding the records? I don't really give a shit. Our society is based on statistics -- we like them. So who cares? Call the steroid era the steroid era and be done with it. Baseball fans thrive on arguments over who was better anyway...let it go. Besides, we all know A-Rod isn't the only guy who tested positive.

No Cub news. Can't do anything with the ownership issue. Now that pissed me off. Finally in a position to really put together a championship club and the ownership thing holds it up.

More later. Or not.

Sherm

30 years

Not much of a baseball rant today -- it's the Sherm's 30th wedding anniversary and we are going to celebrate like it's 1999. We're going to the Pechanga Casino and Resort for the big Wine and Chocolate Festival -- because nobody does wine and chocolate like the Indians, I suppose.

Speaking of the Indians, I admit that the whole "land for beads" thing was one-sided and unfair. I also think the Mark DeRosa trade makes us even.

30 years is a long time. And that's thirty EACH. So today we party to remember the good times, drink to forget the bad ones, and get ready for the next thirty. She told me that the first thirty was just "probation" --

We are renewing our vows tomorrow. For two weeks, I thought they said "Vowels" and had been practicing a-e-i-o-u and sometimes y. Now they tell me it's not that. So I have to go write something nice. She says if I do comedy, it'll be a short marraige this time around...so I'd better be serious. Or not. We'll see.

Any of you in the San Clemente area tomorrow afternoon...feel free to drop by...but call first so I can get you on the list. And give you directions. Or email me if you don't have the phone number.

More on baseball later. No mention of either flotsam or jetsam in the vows, I promise.

Sherm

Reunited

Cliff Floyd just signed with the Padres. Dusty Baker was furious at Red's management for failing to secure the black ex-Cub, and promised to lock up Tom Goodwin, Matt Lawton, Doug Glanville, Tony Womack and Freddie Bynum as soon as possible, said Baker's personal assistant and valet, Neifi Perez.

Nevermind

Forget the Ben Sheets thing. Nevermind.

I see the Reds signed Jock Jones and Barrel Ward. Awww. How nice. Back together with Dusty Baker. Where are Peaches and Herb when you need them?

Here's my latest brainstorm. Since I will obviously be denied Adam Dunn's bat in our lineup...I have what I am now calling "THE ANSWER."

THE ANSWER:

Trade Alfonso Soriano to the Blue Jays for Roy Halladay. Then sign Manny to play left field. It's so fucking brilliant that you are all stunned, aren't you? Thought so. Let it sink in. It is THE ANSWER.

Even if you can't get Wah (that's how Roy is pronounced in Canada, right?) -- trade Alf for some other pitcher...there are teams that would do it. Really.

I have to confess. I did tell Smitty I'd call him back. I just didn't say when.

Baseball fans are smarter than fans of most other sports. Except maybe Chess, which I really don't think is a sport as much as it is a game. I would like to see Olympic Chess, though, played on a football field with tackling. And tickling. That'd be fun to watch. Better than the people who run around on the mat with the ribbon.

More tomorrow. Just had to report the Reunited thing.

JS

Sheets

Would you consider Ben Sheets on a one year deal with a club option? Anyone? Anyone? Healthy he's good...we know that. Just a thought. Only cost would be money since we don't have anyone left to trade to San Diego for Peavy. Just a thought. I'm still okay with Marshall as our number five...as long as Harden is good to go. If he's made of glass, that worries me.

Hey, it's almost time for Smitty's biannual blog update. Stay tuned.

I can't stand it anymore. When does the season start already?

Any of you attending any preseason games? If so, let me know...

Sherm

Trades galore

First, we trade Dick Bump to the O's for a BLT on wheat, hold the Hellmans.

Then, we trade little Vin Diesel to the A's for a couple of guys who wouldn't start at Fantasy Camp.

Which begs the question: why are we trading only with teams whose nicknames are letters? Vowels even? Nobody ever refers to the Yankees as the Y's or the Red Sox as the R's. Some people call the Mariners the M's. Why can't the Mets be the M's? Why isn't Toronto called the BJ's? Maybe they were when Dave Stewart was there. I don't know.

And, the more pressing question: why don't we ever trade with good teams? I'd think that good teams might have better players. Just a thought. Keep trading with shitty teams and you end up with shitty players. That's kind of why those teams are shitty to begin with isn't it? I mean, what GM wakes up and says "I hope to be a little more like the Orioles by the end of the day?"

I think Lou should step up and say "we don't need or want another starting pitcher. We have Sean Marshall and he's our guy. I'm giving him the ball every fifth day and he's going to win a lot of games this year." Marshall would be stoked. Then you do whatever you have to do to get Peavy, but it's a nice gesture.

Last year we wouldn't give up Hill or Pie for Roberts -- I'm not sure which one was the sticking point. Now Baltimore has both of them and Roberts. All we got in return was a discount coupon for HomeTown Buffet for Lou. Once again, we held on to "potential" for too long.

It sounds like camp was fun, although I can't imagine it without me there. If I ever go again, I'll blog the entire experience. It'll be fun. Think Randy offers a blogger discount? I'll do post game interviews and shit like that. I'll blog during games. I'll blog while running the bases. It'll be crazy.

I'm thinking of holding a blogger fantasy camp. Bunch of guys sit around and blog all day, then shower. It'll be fun. 3 grand gets you in. Bring your own computer.

Sherm

Congrats to Johnny Southsider

A champion in the group! Congratulations.

It's not as easy as you think to dominate a bunch of old geezers. I mean that.

I don't understand the Giants camp kicking the Cubs camp ass...what's up with that? Even so, an All Star team sounds kind of pissy and elitist for a fantasy camp.

Questions for you 09 campers:

Did Team Asskiss go over the top again? Are they still together?

Any mechanical arm injuries?

Ernie there? Santo? Sandberg? Dascenso?

What did Randy say about the "other" camp? It had to come up.

How was the new photographer?



Rich Hill O'beans is as good as gone. Off to Baltimore. We're getting nothing in return, which actually seems fair.

Everyone I talk to is high on Heilman. Live arm. Might end up as a good thing. We'll see.

I wish the season would start already.

js